How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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