I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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