hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
