dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
