i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
