I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can't turn off my feet"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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