She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize