Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
