no, he came in my armpit
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
