best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
