Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
