Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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