Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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