Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize