I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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