Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
as a side note pls kill me
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
