good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
