you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
