It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
In America we eat man semen.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
