If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
