It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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