Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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