Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish you could order shots online.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
