GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
