Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
