woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
