Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
