So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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