I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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