toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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