Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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