He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
