FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You were trust falling into bushes
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
