Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
