So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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