Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
