you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
