and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
farters have to be the big spoon...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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