I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
