Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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