his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
