I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
