I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
