Sorry, I don't speak sober.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
