its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
