My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
