Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
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I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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