would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
