ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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