I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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