I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
