OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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