goodnight i made you a song goodbye
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize