the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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