Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
