Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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