you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
