im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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