I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize