Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
