just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
