I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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