no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
