my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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